[Sandy* is a birth mother who has agreed to write her story for us. She broke her story up into six different sections to tell her story. We hope you can find inspiration and guidance from her story.]

I never thought I would ever place my babies for adoption, ever. And I never thought I would place more than one for adoption. I know what you’re thinking. I’ve heard the comments from my friends and family. They didn’t make it easy on me at all by asking why would you do this? What the hell are you thinking? You can’t just give away your kids. I gave them a better life and when I get my pictures and updates from their parents, I know I did the right thing.

My name is Sandy and this is my story…

My childhood wasn’t a happy one. I was the youngest of four kids and we were poor livin’ in a two bedroom apartment. We lived off of welfare and random jobs my mom did. My dad was an abusive alcoholic. He rarely worked and when he did the money went to alcohol. I think it was his goal to make us all suffer. I don’t know. My mother was weak. She didn’t do anything to leave my dad or ever stand up to him. Not even when he would beat us up. We all tried to stay out of his way when he was wasted, but he would find one of us and beat us til he thought it was enough.

Growing up I used to daydream for something better. Something like those Disney movies where everyone had great parents and a better life. Some nights we went to bed hungry. We were dragged to outreach programs so we could get free dinners. We shopped at the Goodwill for all our clothes. By the time, I reached high school, my brothers ran with the neighborhood gangs and my sister was getting ready to leave home. She wanted as far away from my parents. She hated them both. I don’t blame her. Our dad was abusive and our mom was weak and she hated our mom for that.

High school was whatever. I was shy probably because I had no self-esteem. We were poor, I didn’t wear the best clothes, and I was abused. I had a couple of friends, but I never let them come over. I wanted out of this place as soon as possible and the only way I was going to do that was graduate from high school and get a job somewhere. I guess my circumstances led me down the path I went.

I started dating this guy, Keith*. He was a typical guy, but he paid attention to me. I never knew what that was like since no one ever paid attention to me. I never let Keith come to my house. We always meet at his place or a park. Wherever we could meet up. I liked him. He was nice to me and treated me nice. After hanging out for awhile, Keith invited me back to his place. Before I knew it we were hooking up. I remember not really wanting to, but I didn’t want him to get mad at me or stop hanging out if I didn’t. We hooked up a few times and then I missed my period.

When I told Keith I missed my period and my pregnancy test came back positive Keith freaked out. No joke. The guy blamed me for getting pregnant. He said there was no way he wanted a kid and that his parents would go ballistic. I got pissed and told him you think I can go home and tell my parents? I’m screwed. He didn’t care though. I was on my own and I had to figure out something quick.

*names have been changed