[Sandy* is a birth mother who has agreed to write her story for us. She broke her story up into six different sections to tell her story. We hope you can find inspiration and guidance from her story.]
I knew I couldn’t tell my parents. There was no way we could afford another mouth to feed and the worst part was facing my dad. I knew my mom would be disappointed and we would deal with it, but my dad would be scary to face. The worst part was Keith stopped talking to me and the rumor was he was already seeing some other girl. I decided to google abortion and get some facts on it and if I could get around telling my parents about the pregnancy. Unfortunately, I needed their permission. And after reading some information, I didn’t know if I could go through with it.
I turned to the one person I thought I could and that was my sister. She wasn’t as understanding as I hoped she would be and she told me to take responsibility. She did go with me to a crisis pregnancy center so I could really know how far along I was. At the crisis pregnancy center they gave me a bunch of information on abortion, parenting, and adoption. My sister believed I should raise my baby. I was confused. I didn’t want to raise a baby on my own and I had so many goals. I wanted away from this life and I didn’t want my kid to be raised the way I was. But I also felt that if I had a baby, I would also have unconditional love from this baby. It was someone I could take care of and maybe I could get Keith back. He would want to be with me again knowing I was carrying his baby. I was really leaning towards raising this baby and getting a job. I mean I could figure it out. Finish school and get a job. My family could help me with the baby.
I went to talk to the school counselor about my situation. I asked her about parenting. She made me realize that a baby isn’t what keeps two people together and that a child won’t provide unconditional love and that’s not a reason to raise a baby. She asked me, how many times do you get mad at your parents? They’ve put you through a lot and you’re about to put another baby through what you went through. We talked about abortion and I told her I don’t think I could do that. I already read about it and our family didn’t agree with abortion. She suggested adoption. I told her I got some information but didn’t really want my baby to be raised by someone else. She gave me some more information and explained that there are so many people that wanted to be parents, but couldn’t have any children on their own. I could help someone become parents. I really wasn’t sure about this. I mean who were these people? Was it even safe to do an adoption? I was still leaning towards raising this baby.
I asked my sister to be there when I told our parents. They were obviously furious at me. They couldn’t believe I could be so irresponsible. My mom was mad and upset. She hoped I would do more with myself. My dad wouldn’t even look at me. I thought his reaction would be worse. He told me I needed to figure it out ‘cause I wasn’t going to be raising a kid there.
After a few days my mom came to me and suggested adoption and if I would think about it. She told me that one of her friend’s daughters just put her baby up for adoption and it seemed like a really good option for me if I wanted more for myself and to be able to stay here. She said she would talk to my dad about it and would talk to me about it tomorrow.