We met at Irene’s office one evening. Thank God for Irene because I think she helped everyone with their nerves. Carol was open and gave my mother and me a hug and so did Tim. I think he was more nervous than any of us! They told me how grateful and excited they were to be meeting us. Irene asked the hard questions for us. I didn’t know really what to ask even though Irene gave me some suggestions to ask. After the meeting, Irene let me know that I would have a couple days to think about my decision and if I had anymore questions to just let her know. I already knew this was the family I wanted.
The adoption process was a little overwhelming. There are people relying on you to make doctor’s appointments and to follow through on different things. Besides my mother, my family wasn’t all that supportive and my dad could have cared less. I was just another disappointment. Overall, during the pregnancy Carol and Tim were great. They came to a couple of my doctor’s appointments. There was a lot more paperwork to fill out too for the attorney that was handling the legal part of the adoption. They also took care of all the paperwork for Keith. He wasn’t difficult about it. He just did what he needed to do to get out of having to deal with our son or me.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was so perfect and beautiful. Carol and Tim were there at the hospital and placing them in their arms was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Carol and Tim stayed there the whole time and visited with the baby and me. It was nice to spend time with them and us before they took him home. Irene was there during my hospital stay. She stayed with me and made sure my family got to spend time with my son and that I got to spend time with him alone. She helped me with my emotions and went over again why I was placing him for adoption.
I knew I was making the right choice for my son, but it didn’t help the pain in my heart as I left the hospital. My stomach was empty and I was in a little bit of pain. My boobs were tender and hurt.
My mother couldn’t pick me up from the hospital and my dad…well I don’t know where he was but my best guess is he was off getting drunk. Irene was the one who took me home from the hospital. When Irene dropped me off and I walked back into my place, I knew I had made the right decision. The place reeked of alcohol and my parents were fighting yet again.
I finished high school and got a job at a drive-in restaurant and moved into a studio apartment with my best friend. It was the best thing to be out on my own away from the hellhole I was raised in. We struggled but we did okay. I started to look into college courses, but I would have to take on student loans. I started putting a little bit of my paycheck away for college. My roommate ended up stealing the money I saved and used it on drugs. We got in a huge fight and I left.
I had nowhere to go and I wasn’t about to go back to my dad and mom’s place. I wasn’t going to let them know I failed or made a choice that didn’t work out. I met a boy named Boyd and it just seemed right with him. I hadn’t let myself get close to anyone after Keith. Boyd was fun and carefree. And we had a lot of fun doing our own thing and hanging out with friends who were all the wrong people. I thought they were my friends. We were in the same bad spot…no permanent home and running the streets and drugs. Boyd knew all the right people and places to go. We skimped by on selling drugs and collected on favors from people.
About seven months after hooking up with Boyd, our lifestyle caught up with us. We got caught shoplifting and we were arrested. I did a quick turnaround since it was my first offense but while I was there I found out I was pregnant once again. This sobered me up real quick. Despite my lifestyle and my current state of being incarcerated, I was having fun with Boyd. We were doing anything we wanted. It was freedom for me and I was addicted to it. But finding out I was pregnant again, sobered me up real quick.
How the hell did I end up back in this situation once again? And I never thought I would be calling Irene again to be helping out of this very crazy situation I was in.