I was released from jail with no safe place to go. I didn’t have anything. I didn’t want to go back to the places I was staying with Boyd since none of those places were safe. I decided to call Irene. She picked me up off the street. She helped me with a place to stay until I could find a more permanent place and helped me get my ID.
Once Irene got me settled she was able to take me to the doctors and able to get me an ultrasound. I found out I was four months pregnant and that I was pregnant with a boy. I told Irene I wanted to do an adoption again and asked if Carol and Tim would want to adopt this baby again. Irene told me she would call them and see if this would be possible.
Irene called me back a couple days later and told me that Carol and Tim were very excited to adopt again and to add another child to their family. Carol and Tim were able to meet with me that weekend and they brought pictures of my son, who they named James. It was so great to see pictures of him! James and his brother (Carol and Tim’s other son) got along so well and did everything together. It was so great to see him have fun with another sibling. It was a very emotional meeting for everyone. I was ashamed and sad that I was in a worse position than when I first met Carol and Tim. I could tell they felt bad for me. That I was back in this position again and worse off.
Carol and Tim were financially helping me throughout the pregnancy. This was my chance to start figuring things out. The pregnancy went smoothly. I was able to meet James during this time. I was so happy that I got to meet him and so nervous too. Carol and Tim told me they explained to him who I was and had been telling him his adoption story so he always knew. It made me feel blessed to know that they acknowledged me and placed me in an important part of their lives and James’s.
For the most part, everything was easy with this adoption. I knew how things were going to happen and so did Carol and Tim. The hardest part of this adoption was locating Boyd. The attorney did everything they could to find Boyd, but in the end couldn’t find him.
The day I delivered my second son, Carol, Tim and Irene were all there with me. It was a long birth, but I had support from Carol and Tim. Two days later, I left the hospital without my baby. Irene took me home. Carol and Tim offered but I wanted to be alone. I was leaving the hospital without my baby and didn’t want the pain of saying goodbye again to them after saying my goodbyes in the hospital.
I knew once again, I had made the right decision. The only thing I could give my baby was love, but nothing more. I didn’t have a job or family to help. I had no prospects for the future. I knew I didn’t want to live the life I had been with Boyd. I didn’t want to be a disappointment to my boys or Carol and Tim who had so much faith in me. I didn’t want to become my parents or like my brothers, in and out of jail. I was going to have to figure out something really quick.
[To see how Sandy’s story ends, come back next week for the ending.]